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031215beausami
01:58 AA: Sami comes into her room on the ark, and the second she sees Beau she starts crying and runs into his arms, burying her face in his chest. 01:59 CA: "W-Woah! Sami, are you alright?" Beau lifts his arms in surprise, but eventually wraps them around Sami.... 02:01 AA: "Oh, Beau, *sniffle* I knew...*muffled sobbing*...hard decisions...*muffled sobbing*....this soon! *blubbering like a god damned pansy*....and Lily and Thiago....and Milly and Darmok, and I don't even think Milly knows about Darmok being doomed, and I don't want to kill anyone Beau!" 02:02 CA: "Woah woah, slow down slow down." He crouches down, so that they are at eye level. "Deep breathes Sami."... 02:03 AA: Sami sucks in a few breaths, but she's making a truly pitiful face as she does so. 02:03 CA: "Ok, now, what happened?"... 02:04 AA: Sami sniffles a little more. "I don't even know if I can tell you all of it. And I'm scared you're going to think I'm a horrible person even if I do." 02:06 CA: "I promise I won't think you're horrible. I love you remember? and I want to help"... 02:07 AA: Sami sniffs. "Well I mean you know how leaders have to make hard decisions and..." 02:07 AA: "...and it turns out Lords and Muses are really dangerous for all the people around them..." 02:08 AA: "...or at least the ones who aren't scared enough of it to be careful, or who have training, or who have experience..." 02:08 CA: "Lord and Muses? Like Jack?"... 02:08 AA: Sami nods. 02:08 AA: "And....about seven other people." 02:08 AA: "Five of which I know about." 02:08 CA: "Seven?!"... 02:08 AA: Sami nods. 02:09 CA: "Oh dear.. there are 8 of them... please tell me some of them know how to be responsible with the power"... 02:10 AA: Sami sniffs and looks glum. "Some of them might." 02:10 AA: "Others almost certainly don't." 02:10 AA: "And it sounds like they could really hurt people if they don't." 02:10 AA: Sami is staring at her feet now. 02:11 AA: "So I had to make a hard decision about....what to do about it." 02:11 CA: "Oh Sami..."... 02:11 AA: "And I think I've figured out a way to not have to do the REALLY horrible thing....but I still have to do something pretty awful." 02:12 CA: "What do you have to do?"... 02:12 AA: She buries her face in his chest again and shakes her head. 02:13 AA: "Don't want to talk about it. 02:13 CA: "I understand..."... 02:13 AA: "And I know this is what I signed up for when I wanted to be leader. But I didn't know it was going to happen this soon." 02:16 CA: "Hard decisions are the hardest part of being a leader Sami. I know you can make it, you're tough. But please remember you don't have to go at it alone."... 02:16 AA: She hugs Beau tighter and sniffs. 02:17 AA: "I'm sorry Beau. I think if I'm going to keep being the leader, I'm going to end up having to weep all over you like this a lot." 02:19 CA: "It's ok, I have several shirts, so I don't have to worry about soaked shoulders."... 02:20 AA: "The god tier robes resist gunk." She sniffs again, but she seems to finally be getting back in a stable frame of mind. "That's part of why I wear them all the time." 02:24 CA: "Are you going to be ok Sami?"... 02:24 AA: "I think so. Libby says I'm growing up. That these are growing pains." She sniffs again. "But I'm worried about who I'm growing up to be." 02:28 CA: "Who do you think you're growing up to be?"... 02:32 AA: "I don't know. The Horntaker? That empress the trolls always used to describe as so mean? Not the one that's this universe's Maenam, but the one from our Trolls' universe. Or maybe the one that's Maenam too, I don't know, I haven't heard as much about her." 02:34 CA: "So, you think you are growing cruel? and mean?"... 02:34 AA: "Or heartless, at least." 02:35 AA: "Someone who hurts people on purpose because it suits her needs." 02:35 CA: "Do you want to be like that Sami?"... 02:36 AA: Sami shakes her head. 02:36 CA: "So what can you do to not be heartless, and to not hurt others for your own purposes?"... 02:36 AA: "I don't know." 02:37 CA: "Hm, allow me to help you then."... 02:38 CA: "Let's go more into detail, why do you think you're hurting people?"... 02:39 AA: "What do you mean?" 02:40 CA: "You think you're becomming someone who hurts others for your own needs. What have you done that makes you think you're on that path?"... 02:42 AA: "...because I decided to do something I know isn't right to make sure someone doesn't get a chance to hurt anyone else." 02:45 CA: "Does this someone know they are hurting people? Have they hurt people before?"... 02:45 AA: "Not yet." 02:45 AA: "And if they do, it will probably be too late for us to do anything to stop them." 02:47 CA: "Sami, is this someone a major threat, or can become one, to the players?"... 02:47 AA: Sami nods. 02:52 CA: "Sami, if it's possible to prevent this person from becoming a major threat, you must take steps to try and stop them from threatening the group as a whole, possibly by helping them before its too late, but if it IS too late, and this person is a major threat to the players.." Beau looks serious, holding Sami firmly. "Sometimes.. drastic measures are necessary.."... 02:52 AA: Sami nods sadly. 02:53 AA: "I think I've figured out a way to safeguard us without having to hurt them unless there's no other way....but it's still something that feels wrong to do." 02:55 CA: "Sometimes, there's no decision that feels right, but those are the times where you must be the most certain in your decision."... 02:56 AA: Sami nods again. "I think I'm making the right decision, or I wouldn't be going through with it. It just makes me feel so....wicked." 03:01 CA: "A core part of being a leader is knowing the difference between tough love and true wickedness. If what you're doing is truly for the best of the group, I support you."... 03:04 AA: Sami wraps her arms around Beau and holds him tight. 03:05 CA: Beau hugs her back, patting her reassuringly.... 03:05 AA: After a while she sighs and says "Also, I don't think Darmok has told Milly about....what me being alive means yet." 03:05 CA: "You being alive means something..?"... 03:05 AA: "I told you, didn't I?" 03:06 AA: "Me being alive Darmok is doomed." 03:06 AA: "We can't both survive. And I don't even know if me being dead would save him." 03:08 CA: "Oh dear, Sami, I'm so sorry.."... 03:09 AA: "It's because of what happened on LOGAT." 03:09 AA: "The choices I made there." 03:09 CA: "Oh, the.. the thing you can't talk about"... 03:09 AA: "Yeah." 03:10 CA: "I wish I could be more help Sami, I feel so useless watching you have to shoulder all this on your own."... 03:11 AA: "You are a big help, Beau. Bigger than you can know." 03:11 AA: She yawns really heavily. The bags under her eyes are especially noticeable as she rubs them. 03:12 CA: "This seems like it's been a big day for you Sami, why don't we sleep on it?"... 03:12 AA: "Yeah. I've got to be up in like three hours for flying lessons and then I have to join Melnia on the obstacle course or the Colonel's going to shout at me." 03:13 AA: "And I've still got to talk to Meouet and Nate and Kate and Ryspor and Maenam and Rilset, and I've got kids I still haven't met yet..." 03:14 CA: "Then it's definite you need your rest, big day tomorrow it seems."... 03:14 AA: "And then I've got to take a trip to Derse to..." She looks down at her feet. "I've got to take a trip to Derse." 03:17 CA: Beau frowns, then pats her on the shoulder reassuringly. "I believe in you, but you need to get some rest first, bed?"... 03:18 AA: Sami nods, and gratefully falls into bed. "There were no beds on the base. I don't think I've had a good night's sleep in--" Sami falls asleep mid sentence and starts snoring. 03:19 CA: Beau smiles, and places a blanket over Sami, then lies down next to her, falling asleep soon enough....